from fat to thin

2004-02-12T19:15:00.000-06:00

I've been moving and now I'm done moving. The second drain came out fine. All the tape is off my inscion. I still have dissolvable stitches in. I can bathe and move and pretty much stand up straight now. I'm still swollen. I keep getting antsy about all the extra skin I still have, but then again, I'm not even one month out yet! It seems like it's been SO much longer than that.

2004-01-21T14:17:00.000-06:00

I got my drain pulled Monday. I was so nervous but it didn't hurt at all! I didn't watch but my husband said they pulled out like 2 feet of tubing out of me! Ewww! :) I think I must still be pretty numb in the area. I get my other drain pulled on this coming Monday. I'm not stressing about it now, since the first one was so painless. I'm still extremely swollen and tender and my inscsion is sore. Other than that, I'm doing just fine, just trying to take it easy. I get tired quickly and usually take a nap in the afternoon.

2004-01-18T15:20:00.000-06:00

Well everything went very smoothly! My anesthesia experience was excellent. Everyone way very nice. I had no post op pain. I didn't need to use the morphine pump while I was hooked up and I didn't take any vicodin by mouth when I got home. I have been sore, yes, but not in pain. I am very very swollen and the drains are uncomfortable, but I am doing excellent. My doctor used that skin glue and dissolvable stitches, so I don't have to get those removed. I have an appointment tomorrow to get one of my drains out. I put some hospital pictures up HERE.

2004-01-17T08:14:00.000-06:00

Still alive- at home recovering- more later.

2004-01-14T20:40:00.000-06:00

Well all my final steps are done- blood work drawn and faxed to the surgeon, directions to Dallas printed and sitting by the door, phone call from my anesthesiologist letting me know to stop eating at midnight, alarm clock set for 4 am. All that's left to do is get up, shower and drive to Dallas. My surgery is at 11am. I'll post when I get back!

2004-01-13T08:29:00.000-06:00

I have an appointment today for my pre-surgery physical and bloodwork. Questions about plastic surgery? Try Obesity Help's Plastic Surgery Peer Support Forum

2004-01-12T23:02:00.000-06:00

Finally talked with Dr. Carman's assistant today, after waiting several hours for her to call me back. Need to get a physical and basic blood work here on the base. Will have surgery at 11am in Dallas on the 15th, but I need to be there at 8 am to do paperwork. Surgery is expected to last 5-6 hours. I will have two drains left in, one which will come out on my 3 day follow up visit, one coming out a week later. That is all the news for now.

2004-01-10T09:43:00.000-06:00

Okay, so all over the holidays I was calling Dr. Carman's assistant and insurance coordinator and they didn't submit for approval until the 20th! I was mad. So then I get back from vacation and Tricare STILL had not received the request. So I wait a week- nothing. I called day before yesterday and talked to a nice lady and told her my predicament (The fact that I am now packing up my boxes to be moved!) and she said she could get a next day turn around on my request! Rock! So I had Dr. Carman's insurance girl fax the request and yesterday Tricare called and said I was approved! Wow! I am slightly miffed, because I could already be healing up by now....but... So anyway, when I was talking to Dr. Carman's assistant BEFORE I knew I had approval, she said she could probably squeeze me in for surgery on the 15th...so that's where I stand now, until I hear back from her MAYBE today (but unlikely, because it's Saturday) but probably Monday, morning, I hope.

2003-12-11T23:15:00.000-06:00

I went for my consultation with Dr. Carman today. She did an examination and took pictures. She wasn't very optimistic about approval, but I am. If they do not approve, I will not appeal, as my husband is soon to be chaptered out. So now I'm waiting the usual 2-3 weeks for my answer, then crossing my fingers for surgery in early January.

2003-11-25T14:26:00.000-06:00

Well I decided to go ahead and call the plastic surgeon to see if they got my paperwork yet. The secretary didn't know, but she said I could go ahead and schedule an appointment. I went ahead and scheduled one for December 11th. If things get approved in a timely fashion, I could be looking at surgery as soon as the second week of January!

2003-11-25T11:20:00.000-06:00

Well yesterday (spurred on that my husband will soon be chaptered out of the military) I thought- hey, what the heck, let me at least try for a tummy tuck approval (now that it's probably too late!). So I waited on the phone yesterday morning for like 30 minutes to get an appointment with my PCP to try to get a referral to see a plastic surgeon. Well I went in with the doctor and he was like- oh sure, no problem. I'll submit this and just give Tricare a call in a week. I was a bit shocked (really I don't think I MEDICALLY need one... more cosmetic... shhhh!!). So this morning TRICARE calls me and says, sure we'll approve you to at least CONSULT with a plastic surgeon. Here is your referral code and the doctors information. *shocked!* The only bad thing- the plastic surgeon is in Dallas, which is about a two hour drive from myself.
I know I have some Tricare readers- so I wanted to post and let you know that the whole thing may be easier than you think.... I shall keep you all updated!

2003-11-23T13:22:00.000-06:00

New pictures! http://www.geocities.com/bullspades/index.html Still holding around 128, going to kick it in gear after Thanksgiving and try to get to 125 by mid-December. I knew the day would come when I finally dropped into an A cup- and it's happened! Bleh! ;-) My 34B is finally getting a little roomy, so when I next go shopping, I'll have to go smaller! Ah well! Let me know what you think of the new photos!

2003-11-08T21:25:00.000-06:00

I have been re-dedicating myself to excercise and working out and it's paid off. This morning I weighed 128.5, which is great! I am still losing weight and would like to get to 117. I have been eating low-calorie and taking supplements and that is what has really helped me.
I have to keep working at it or I will gain weight, I know. But it's so awesome to be able to put forth an effort and have it work! :)

2003-09-05T14:09:00.000-05:00

Today is my one year anniversary! Just think- one year ago today I was awake and nervous about going into surgery. Today I weighed in at 144. I was hoping to be closer to my goal at 1 year out, but I'm getting a sinking feeling that this is where my body wants to stay. Well anyway, Happy Aniversary to me.

2003-08-08T18:37:00.000-05:00

A month has passed and I still weigh the same. Nothing new of note to blog, so I don't. However I did make a new photo page of pics taken last weekend. Check it out at http://www.geocities.com/arsenickitten/augustphotos.html

2003-07-10T12:13:00.000-05:00

Well not too much exciting things have happened. I have dropped the ball on the whole tummy tuck thing. I'm starting to think I just wouldn't qualify. I mean my panni is not that big, but the area above the belly button kind of is, and put it all together and it's a lot of skin by my standards, but probably not anyone elses. (end run on sentence here) So a couple of days ago I hit 150 which is kind of a mini-milestone. And the last couple of days I've been weighing in around 148, so I feel pretty solidly in the 140s now. It's nice to have less than 20lbs to go to get to my first goal weight.

2003-06-26T16:52:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday! I'm 24 now. No other changes to report other than gaining a year. :-D

2003-06-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

Only 10 days until my birthday! :-) I'll be 24.

2003-06-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

Nothing new to report here. Well I guess I did go to the Tricare office to get a copy of their plastic surgery policy. The lady was kind of rude and highlighted and pointed out that "panniculectomies are NOT done for cosmetic reasons!" Well DUH! I swear, people are so stupid. ANYWAY she also made it sound like the only way they would ever approve a panniculectomy is if it was done during another surgery (i.e. hernia repair). But their policy states, "Panniculectomy performed in conjunction with other abdominal or pelvic surgery is covered when medical review determines that the procedure significantly contributes to the safe and effective correction or improvement of bodily function." and furthermore, "Benefits are authorized for other surgeries when the surgery is determined to be a medically necessary procedure, integral to the restoration of an individual function." I think I should be qualified for the surgery because my mobility is impared. I mean I can't really run or jump because of all the extra skin. Not to mention this extra skin is a direct result of a previous surgery I had.... So... I will be try for approval in the next couple of weeks.

2003-06-02T22:42:00.000-05:00

I'm back from my trip. I only went to Colorado, not Nebraska. Anyway, back to the gym this morning. I've gotten SOME of my vacation photos developed and scanned and uploaded and placed HERE. Weight wise- this morning was the first time I weighed in 10 days and the scale said 159.5- so not really in the 150s yet, but maybe this week I'll be solidly there.

2003-05-21T16:16:00.000-05:00

Nothing too new going on. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be gone for the next 10 days on a trip to Colorado and Nebraska. I'll post some pictures of my trip when I get back.

2003-05-07T11:11:00.000-05:00

I have a new photo up! Check out my photo page! (It's at the bottom of the photo page!)

2003-05-06T09:56:00.000-05:00

I didn't do the progresspromt yesterday because it didn't apply to me. So anyway, I'm in the middle of a workout at home today, and am just taking a quick moment to update. My latest concern is loose skin. As I am losing more fat, it is getting really noticable- especially in my inner thighs, upper arms, breasts and stomach. Breasts and inner thighs are looking especially hideous. But it's all hidden by clothes, and I'd rather have the lose skin than fat. Hopefully I can get away with just doing a tummy tuck and breast work- but we'll just have to see. I'm hovering around 167 still. It's too early to start thinking about being out of the 160s, but I am. lol I will be excited to get to 150.
I thought I should maybe update on my general life- As previously stated, I should be moving to Alaska right now, but I'm not. My husband's orders got cancelled due to him getting a medical board. Without going into boring details it looks like we could be here for anywhere from 1 month to 1 year more. (How's that for specific?) More than likely we'll be here for another 3 months or so...and then we'll be off to... ???? Who knows!! So the only trip I'm actually planning is one to Colorado on the 22nd of this month to get some extensive tattoo work done.

2003-04-30T07:31:00.000-05:00

Well I have hit the century mark (minus 100lbs). Not too exciting since no weight is truly accurate, but according to my scale, this morning I weighed 168. Only 40 more pounds until my first goal weight of 128, then I go for a tummy tuck.

2003-04-28T20:14:00.000-05:00

PP TIME: What comments have you gotten from romantic partners/spouses about your body size? How did you respond? And how did their attitude affect your relationship?
This is a pretty major question for me. Knowing my partner was not naturally attracted to plus-size people was a major motivating factor for me to lose this weight. Justin never belittled me or was rude to me or loved me any less, but I could sense that he was unhappy with my decreasing health and increasing size. I've never dated anyone that was ever mean or rude to me about my size. I've never had a loved one make a snide remark about being fat. It's more society in general, and just the feeling you get from others. It's not okay to be fat in this country and I've always known that. What's funny though is I've never percieved myself as really large. In fact, I am STILL bigger in reality than I am in my mind. How weird is that? My mental picture of myself has always been one of someone who was of average size. Well my body is slowly catching up with that image. It's odd, because in most people it is the opposite. They think they are bigger than they really are when they lose a bunch of weight.
Other people have been noticing too. I get comments now and then from people I know about how much weight I've loss. I truly think it takes like 100lbs before people feel ready to comment. Well general people/aquaintences. My close loved ones of course said things much sooner. I'm still plateuing at 169.5, but I'm cool with that because I know it will come off, just slowly.

2003-04-21T20:39:00.000-05:00

Progress Prompt:What role did your mother have in your feelings about yourself and your shape? Grandmother? Aunt? What were the older women like as role models for you as a child? What older women are role models for you now?
I'm not sure how my mother affected my feelings about myself. I never felt like I was ugly. I usually took her advice for clothes and such, as a younger person. I suppose she was pretty positive, since I have always thought I looked better than I really did. lol All of my female relatives are overweight, so I apparently took my eating cues from them. In that sense they were not good role models. As for an older woman role model for me now... Sheesh, I really don't know. I guess I don't have one. When I look for role models, I usually look for people who are doing good at my intrests, like education and such, nothing to do with being a woman, or a healthy one.

I got my portrait done with Justin last week. They won't be ready for another couple of weeks though. I will have some extra wallets, so if I don't already have your address, and you want a picture, email me your mailing address. I'll probably post it on my photo page too. This morning was a good morning- I finally broke out of the 170s! I was 169.5 this morning. Of course, I could go back up tomorrow, so nothing is set in stone, but still, this is the first time I have been out of the 170s, so it feels really really good. Just another pound or so until the century mark! :-)

2003-04-14T13:54:00.000-05:00

Progress Prompt: What are your hobbies? Are they activity- or passivity-based? What were your hobbies as a kid?
Hmm, my current hobbies are playing computer games, surfing the internet, reading, penpalling, post-card collecting and watching TV. They are all passivity based. That's not very good is it? As a child my hobbies were reading and writing and watching tv. Oh, and playing nintendo.

So sometime this week I'm getting a portrait done with Justin. Dude, getting a whole huge package is like FIVE dollars at wal-mart!! Can you believe how cheap that is?!?! At that price I could get portraits done every weekend! I'm thinking of doing this portrait like ultra casual- A halter top and capris, and Justin in shorts and a baseball cap. Just kind of a relaxed spring portrait. Then this holiday season I'm going to get really dressy ones for Yule cards. I think I'll have Justin wear his uniform and I'll wear like a fancy outfit. Hopefully by this christmas I'll have a tummy tuck done. I'd ideally like to have one in November. That would be over a year after my original surgery. I've pretty much decided on my plastic surgery schedule in general- Get a tummy tuck this year (free through Tricare) and then have a kid next year, then get the body lift and breasts done about 1-2 years post child. I figured I'd go ahead and get the apron removed before I have a child, because I heard that can make you have bad back problems. Then after I have a child I can get everything tightened up for good.

In tales of the scale news- BOOOO! Still am holding out in the 170s!! Booooo! In size news- I can pretty much wear all of Justin's clothing now- including his tight jeans. Well not his ULTRA tight Wranglers, but heck, even he can barely fit in those! lol I also regularly way less than him.

2003-04-07T17:11:00.000-05:00

Still on a weight-loss standstill. And now for a quick comment on the absurdity of clothing sizes... During one shopping trip I bought the following sizes in pants: 13/14, 10, 12 and 6.
Now for today's Progress Prompt:Have you ever experienced discrimination for being the size you are? Describe what happened.
Hrm. I don't know about flat out discrimination. I mean, i've been thought less of, judged based on my appearance alone, etc... that's stereotyping, right? I don't think I've been denied things based on my weight, but maybe it's because I never really TRIED to do anything while obese.

2003-03-31T08:49:00.000-06:00

Progress Prompts are going downhill. I'm not even doing todays. Instead, let me ramble.
I am finally becoming one of those people frustrated by their weight loss. Here have been my weekly weigh-ins for the past 6 weeks:
February 23: 186.5
March 2: 183.5
March 9: 178.0
March 16: 182.5 (What the heck!! I can understand daily fluctuations of going up, but not weekly!)
March 23: 177.0
March 30: 176.5

I think part of my problem is I was spoiled. In the month of February I was losing 3-4 pounds a week and now in March I've lost hardly anything. I'm not complaining, per se, just expressing my frustration. If I had kept losing the 3-4 lbs a week I would have been at 168 this week- I would have hit the century mark. Another frustrating thing is that after losing all this weight, I still don't look average- weight wise. I still look overweight. I am trying to have patience.

In other news, the long awaited visit of the in-laws is over and done with. It wasn't nearly as satisfying as I had hoped. I believe my father-in-law said one brief comment when getting off the plane- "You look good." or something. He mumbled it along with his hello. Other than that, no comments were made. I felt better around them, not being so big. It was less awkward going out and about. I bet they suspect I had the surgery- simply because I didn't eat a whole lot. I think my eating could easily be passed off as a girl picking at her food and just ordering a little because she's concerned about their weight. But they will assume the surgery. This is a bit frustrating because surgery is still seen as the easy way out. People who 'do it on their own' seem to think that they have a right to be proud of losing weight and surgery patients don't. I think those that have had a gastric bypass operation are seen as failures- they let it go so far out of hand that they needed surgery- they were so weak-willed that they couldn't do it on their own. That is such crap. You still need to watch what you eat- you still need to excercise- on top of that you need to be even MORE responsible, because you have to monitor your vitamins, and get your blood drawn, etc. Not to mention having to actually go THROUGH surgery. I am really frustrated this morning, aren't I?

Another thing I've noticed is that people now feel comfortable making fat jokes/comments around me. I guess before, when I was huge, people were sensitive enough not to do it. But now I hear people making fun of overweight people, telling jokes, making comments about their appearance. I suppose that means that I'm not so big in their eyes, as to be offended. They are not telling them TO me, mind you, but they are being said in my presence.

I suppose it's time to wrap up this frustrating entry. I am not really depressed or unmotivated, I am just impatient. I am still quite happy about my progress so far and just want to continue and not stall out right now.

2003-03-25T07:19:00.000-06:00

I would have posted yesterday, but the Progress Prompt people were a day late. Childhood obesity is on the rise. Why?
Well I don't think this is a very good question, because it's not personal in any way. I think the answer will be similar for everyone- kids excercise less (computers, tv, video games, etc.) and eat more and less healthy food (junk food, pop, etc.) I think it's disgusting the way most of the U.S. raises its children, but this is not the place for that rant. In other news I haven't been losing a lot of weight, just kind of bouncing around the 175-180 range. I am very busy and very stressed this week, as it is Justin's graduation and his parents are coming tomorrow. BLEH!

2003-03-18T18:54:00.000-06:00

How much do I hate my arms? Lots! I originally came on here to post that I was wearing some sleevless or semi sleevless things IN PUBLIC lately, but now I just want to whine. I can't even believe I have gone OUT of my house without my upper arms covered! Not only are they huge and very very flabby, the are also covered in stretch marks. Who the heck has STRETCH marks on their ARMS?!?!? It so sucks, because I fit into some shirts nicely everywhere but my arms. Especially girl t-shirts and tank-tops. I would LOVE to wear tank-tops all the time, but can't do to my hideous arms. BAH! I curse you flabby arms! And I don't know that I would ever get them fixed, I mean it looks like it leaves a pretty wicked scar... *shrugs* Plus I am sure no insurance would cover it. I already know I'll have to self pay to get my breasts done, and I'm sure that will be plenty expensive enough. And to compound everything, I gained weight last week instead of losing.

2003-03-17T08:06:00.000-06:00

Progress Prompt: Academy Awards is this coming Sunday. What are your thoughts and feelings about Hollywood's standards on what an actress should look like? Are they still strict on the old standards, or are they finally letting plus-size actresses into movies? Name a favorite plus-size actress and tell why you like her. Do you think the standards are different for male overweight actors?

My thoughts and feelings on Hollywood? I think the actresses look good. Yes, most of them are quite thin, but to me that is attractive. Do I find it attractive because I was raised with this culture? Perhaps. Then again it may be my personal taste. As far as if their standards are changing- No, I don't believe they are. I mean I can't even name five "plus size" actresses, nor do I have a favorite one. Yes, I think the standards are slightly different for males. I think they can get more roles (because they are portraying life, and life is quite accepting of overweight males in a variety of roles). However they still get less attention than their fit counterparts.

2003-03-15T13:04:00.000-06:00

I put up a new photo.

2003-03-10T09:53:00.000-06:00

Today's Progress Prompt: You have a lot to be grateful for as you lose weight, become active and feel good about yourself. Write a gratitude journal entry.

Am I just an average youth with a strong sense of entitlement? I mean I'm happy that I'm losing weight, but to whom should I be grateful to? Being healthy is a right, in my opinion. So I guess I'm thankful to myself for working out every day and eating right. I'm thankful that there is sufficent medical technology that allowed me to have this surgery, but there is no one person to thank. Maybe it's the word grateful that's throwing me off. I have a lot to be HAPPY about, that I"m losing weight- My clothes fit better, I can buy a wider selection of clothes. People no longer reject me as much based solely on appearance.

Oh by the way, I just computed my latest BMI- it is 29.6, which is just overweight. I'm no longer obese (unlike my starting BMI of 44.6 which is morbidly obese). At my original goal weight of 128, my BMI would be 21.3, which is right in the middle of the normal BMI range. I'm hoping LONG term, ultimately, after plastic surgery, I'll be around 117 with a BMI of 19.5.

And now for my song reccomendation for the day... "My Immortal" by Evanescence.

2003-03-09T14:55:00.000-06:00

Wow, all this time I have just been thinking tummy tuck, but after seeing THIS page, I am totally thinking about a belt lipectomy (trunk lift). I mean I will have to see how my ass and back look after another 50 pound loss, but, wow the results with this look spectacular! But I'm not sure Tricare would pay for something like that. I feel pretty confident they will pay for a tummy tuck, but I don't know about the rest. I don't know if we could ever self pay... Hmm, maybe if I get a job when I get to Alaska I could put all of my money from that into a plastic surgery account. I know I will need my boobs done, and I know that won't be covered, so I better start saving when I get up there! :-) One dillema I have is children. I'm pretty sure I want to have a child, but if I go and get my boobs done, and get all my loose skin tightened up, pregnancy will stretch it all back out again! I don't think I want a child before we get out of the Army in 2006... Of course I could get all this plastic surgery done next year (I figure I will be at goal weight by then) and enjoy it and have a child whenever- and then get another mini tummy tuck or some liposuction done. I keep forgetting my husband will have a good and high paying job when he gets out of the military. I have trouble comprehending life not in the Army.

2003-03-09T12:34:00.000-06:00

Heh heh heh. That last post really made me look wacky, eh? Sadly it's true. Hey at least I'm not obsessive-compulsive. Errr...
Anyway, I am posting to say that I am only 50lbs away from my personal goal of 128. That, naturally, means I weighed 178 this morning! Whoo hoo! Nothing like losing 2lbs overnight to get your day started. I love tracking my weight everyday on FITDAY even more than tracking my food. Let's see here- one month ago today I weighed 190.5, so in 30 days I lost 12.5lbs. Hooray! For some reason, that does not seem slow to me at all. I lose about 3lbs a week. Just 10 more pounds until I've lost 100lbs- and just 3 more pounds until my mini goal of 175. I stopped tracking my activites on FITDAY, because I didn't feel they were accurate. Rest assured- I am still excercising every Monday thru Friday. In other news, I fit into a pair of my husband's pants (he wears a 32/31) finally. So yay for that!

Just a heads up- starting the first week in April (at or around) I won't be blogging for like a month. I will be moving to Alaska during that time.

Come back tomorrow for the Progress Prompt!

2003-03-06T18:30:00.000-06:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Why did I post this? I think it's a quick test, but one that may give you some insight to yourself. I had been misdiagnosed as bi-polar for years and only recently discovered my borderline/histrionic disorder. I believe if I had been properly diagnosed and treated, a lot of my problems would be easier managed- including my weight loss. Not that anyone that comes to my site is crazy, but I believe mental health is important, as well as physical health, and we should seek well being in all areas of our lives. I am not embarrased to post my results just like I am not embarrased to post my weight. We all have problems in life and it is important to strive to correct them.

2003-03-05T18:42:00.000-06:00

Do This Often

:-)

2003-03-03T13:45:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know I didn't do Friday Five last Friday. I'm not sure if I will do the Friday Fives. But of course, I am doing today's Proggress Prompt: Do you eat out? How often? Are you able to select healthy choices or are you easily overwhelmed or intimidated by the food menu? What are your strategies for staying with healthy eating if you're having a meal outside your usual parameters (at home, at work)?

I eat out 1-2 times a week. I am EASILY 'overwhelmed' by the food choices, lol. I figure since I don't eat out often, it's okay to splurge a bit when we do go out. I don't go crazy or anything, but I don't restrict myself either. I try to be reasonable and not deny myself anything- just eat in moderation. Besides, I usually just have a couple of bites of whatever Justin ordered. I rarely order my own meal. And I still try to track everything I eat when I go out on my fitday log.

2003-02-25T20:06:00.000-06:00

Thumbs up..thumbs down? I'm feeling a wee bit confused about how I should feel...lol. I mean I know I can't define myself by what size clothing I wear...but I was kind of hyped thinking I was size 12ish.. Well you know I was wearing that pair of size 11 jeans with the 2% spandex? Well apparently spandex makes a BIG difference...even if it is only 2%. I went back to the wonderful KMart sale today and tried on a pair of size 10s... Yes size 10's!! Well they FIT! So I see this other pair of size 14's that are super cute, but no spandex jeans. I think, darn, these are super cute, but they will be too big... Well WRONG!!!! I couldn't even zip them up!!!!!! Total super bummer. Totally deflated my good feelings about fitting into size 10's!! Any advice?

2003-02-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

Progress Prompt time!
Did you take any PE (physical education) class when you were in school?
Yes, all in elementary and in junior high.

Did you enjoy it?
No, never. (I remember ONE time I had fun in gym, and that was playing dodgeball) I was always a little bigger so always a little slower, and I hated changing in junior high because I didn't wear a bra yet.

Were you athletically inclined?
No not really. The only excercise I enjoyed was playing on the playground- tetherball, stuff like that.

Have you ever participated in a team sport?
Volleyball in junior high.

In an individual sport?
No, not competitivley.

What sports have you tried, and what sport would you like to try/learn?
Well I haven't really tried many. I mean maybe casually tried- I could say volleyball, swimming, football, basketball, soccer. I'd be interested in maybe trying/playing softball or maybe basketball.

Do you enjoy/are you easily inspired from watching sports?
I watch sports every once in awhile. I do enjoy watching football and occasionally watch basketball or baseball. I don't, however, find them at all inspiring.

2003-02-21T13:15:00.000-06:00

So I'm going out dancing tonight... and I am wearing my new size 11 jeans. I swear, if I don't find some pants that are too small... lol These are tight, but Justin says they look good that way. Now I have to go on record and say that these jeans have 2% spandex in them, so that is possibly why they fit... I'm glad I'm around this size, because one of my goals was to be in a comfortable size 12 by the end of March. Another of my goals is to walk a mile in 15 minutes. Today I walked a mile in 16:45 so I'm getting closer. In summary, as of today:
~~Weigh Less Than 200 lbs~~
Walk a mile in 15 minutes
~~Fit into a size 12~~
Fit into my husband's jeans (31 inch waist)
Weigh less than 130
Be able to do one regular push up

2003-02-21T11:03:00.000-06:00

It's time for The Friday Five!
1. What is your most prized material possession?
That's a tough one. Nothing immediatley jumped out at me. At first I was going to say my bed, because I'd have a hella bad time without it. But I'd probably have to say my computer. I use it constantly.

2. What item, that you currently own, have you had the longest?
I have many of my baby items (toys, blankets, etc) so I'd have to say those type of things.

3. Are you a packrat?
Oh most definitely. I mean I am one of the worst packrats in the world. I keep thinking I'm not going to be, that maybe I can stop it... but all attempts at living simply have failed me. But it is still a goal of mine to not hoard things and to gradually let them go.

4. Do you prefer a spic-and-span clean house? Or is some clutter necessary to avoid the appearance of a museum?
I prefer a clean house... Is it clean...no. If I had a maid it would be. But I think maybe I like some clutter, because that's how things always end up.

5. Do the rooms in your house have a theme? Or is it a mixture of knick-knacks here and there?
Well currently my bedroom is done in Powerpuff theme, though I'm thinking of changing it to Spongebob. My bathroom did have a turtle them, but now it's more 'aquatic life' theme. My kitchen was supposed to be bees and cats (odd combo) and it kind of is. My living room is very mixed though.

2003-02-20T20:51:00.000-06:00

Hmm- just a note. My website doesn't seem to be showing up- I think it's a problem with blogspot. So if you were trying to get to it earlier and it didn't show- Well anyway, nothing going on here. I am trying to cut back my calories a bit, I was starting to stray over 1000 a bit too often. Part of it is the popcorn I've been eating. I can eat a whole bag and I'm hungry like an hour later. That's 200 calories I don't need to be wasting. I TOTALLY need a food scale. I'm sick of guessing how much chicken I'm eating.

2003-02-18T21:24:00.000-06:00

Not much going on today. I just logged in to republish my archives and I figured while I was already here- I might as well write something. I joined a new Yahoo group the other day. It's for September 2002 WLS'ers. I think that's a neat idea for the group. According to everyone elses' stats that they posted- my weight loss is pretty right on target. It's good to be average. I hope more people are visiting my site than sign my guestbook... if not- that means I have like three readers! hahah Hi Mandy, Kristi and Melissa!
In intrest of wasting more pixel space I will now do the Friday Five from January 3, 2003. (I plan on starting up the Friday Five regularly, along with Monday's Progress Prompts)
1. Do you wear any jewelry? What kind?
I occasionally wear earings, usually when I'm going out. Also I sometimes put on a necklace, and often bracelets. If I am wearing something that shows my ankles, I put on an anklet. I also wear a tiny spike labret in my lip.

2. How often do you wear it?
I wear the labret always, and the other usually when I'm going out, or meeting up with friends, etc.

3. Do you have any piercings? If so, where?
My lip and my ears several times. Tomorrow I am getting my eyebrow. I am a piercing fanatic and have been pierced around 15 times, but have had to take most of them out for some reason or the other. (hence getting the same part pierced several times.)

4. Do you have any tattoos? If so, where?
Yes I have some on my neck/back and one on my right ankle. I plan on getting one on my back reworked and expanded to go across my shoulders.

5. What are your plans for the weekend?
This weekend I think I'm going out country dancing. Next weekend I'd like to go see this band play. (This guy came up to me at the gym and told me about his band... heh!)

2003-02-17T19:56:00.000-06:00

Today's Progress Prompt: What are your food triggers? How/why do they trigger your cravings? What do you do with them when you're on a weight loss program...do you modify their recipes or eliminate them from your food plan altogether?

I think for me, they are savory foods. Sweet, salty foods. Hamburger helper, spagetti, chinese food. I don't know why they trigger my cravings- I guess that's just my favorite type of food. Just like other people have a 'sweet' tooth. I've never really had one, and I have to say, post op- I have even less of one. But my 'salt tooth' has increased, if anything. As far as what I do about them- I try to find healthy alternatives, like a vegetable stirfry with a low cal sauce. Another thing is prepackaged 'Lean Cuisine' or 'Smart Ones' etc. They are usually very low in calories but high in the flavors I like. The one thing I really had to stop eating post op was juice. That was something I drank CONSTANTLY and it is pretty much useless calories. That has been my hardest food that I love- that I had to cut out.

2003-02-17T16:27:00.000-06:00

I'm so confused! So today, I went back to K-mart because it's going out of bussiness and the jeans are ultra cheap there. Well yesterday I bought the 14's right- and they fit good, so today I thought I would buy size 12's to shrink into. Well I found this really cool pair of size 11s on the Jr. rack. I went to try them on to see if they were even close and I GOT THEM ON AND BUTTONED. Good right? Well sheesh if I weigh 190lbs and am in a size 11.... what happens when I weigh 128? lol There is no way I should fit into a size 11. I mean granted, they were TIGHT, and I won't be wearing them in public until I lose a little more weight- but still! Another funny part of it is that I am wearing size 18 pants right now. They fit fine in the waist and are super baggy everywhere else. Too crazy. In other news- I have been weighing myself every morning, as soon as I get up. I officially broke from the 190s this morning and weighed in at 189! Of course I think I just lost a lot of water weight yesterday from drinking so much, but still! *smiles*

2003-02-16T14:16:00.000-06:00

Hmph! No e-valentine's this year...even though I sent one to everyone. Oh well. I went out to eat at Olive Garden twice over this weekend. I didn't even have to order anything. I had a couple of bites of my husband's salad and then one and a half of his raviolis. Mmm they were stuffed with portebello mushrooms and covered with a savory sun-dried tomato sauce. I even had cheesecake. I dutifully logged it all on my Fitday account. I've really been attempting to alter my calorie intake every couple of days. Like one day I shoot for around 600 and the next around 1200. They say that keeps your body wondering what's going on instead of going into starvation mode.
Yesterday I bought a pair of size 14 jeans, thinking once again that I would fit into them eventually. Well darn it- they fit! lol I seriously wanted too small ones so I'd have something to 'shrink in to'. So now I am currently rotating three pair of jeans- 18's, 16's and 14's. The 18's need a belt, the 16's are about just right, and the 14's are fitted. A funny thing I noticed is that my waist must be losing oddly. I mean that like the 16's fit but are a bit big in the waist. It seems all my pants are big in the waist. Wierd, I've never had that problem before.
Oh and very important: I am looking for an artist who is good in Celtic/Nordic artwork. I am trying to plan a tattoo for my back and am looking for an artist, or even some suggestions for websites that have good art on them. If you are one, or know one, or have a good website, please EMAIL me or sign my GUESTBOOK! (both links are at the top of the page) I am willing to pay the artist, of course.

2003-02-12T12:51:00.000-06:00

I think I may have already asked this, but what's the difference between a Large and a Large coming from the "Juniors" section? What is the regular section called... Misses? I'm thinking fat people are "Womens", thin adults are "Misses" and thin teenagers are "Juniors". Is that accurate? Does anyone know this maze of sizes and labels that is the female fashion industry?

2003-02-10T12:52:00.000-06:00

Here is Monday's Progress Prompt: People are encouraged to drink at least 8 glasses of water every day for optimum health. For people who are on weight loss programs, especially those who prefer to drink soda or coffee, incorporating water intake can be difficult or painful during the transition to a healthy lifestyle. How do you get all eight glasses into you? Share a favorite tip or trick. Since starting drinking water regularly, have you noticed any significant changes in your body or mood?

I don't monitor my water intake at all. I don't get a specific number of ounces or glasses. In fact I hardly drink anything at all. This has changed since I've started to work out. In the morning before working out I drink about a 12oz glass full of cold peppermint tea (non caffinated). After working out I drink from the water fountain and then another glass of cold tea when I get home. I occasionally drink a diet lemonade. I am not a soda drinker, never was. Same goes for coffee, so I've never had to try to break an addiction to an unhealthy drink. Well I did have to break my juice addiction. While not exactly unhealthy, juice is LOADED in calories, so I've pretty much cut it out completely. I don't mind drinking water, and if I'm not drinking tea, water is all I drink. My tip is to get in a habbit of drinking liquids at a certain time. By requiring myself to drink a full glass before I eat breakfast, it's helped me up my water intake.

In other news, I bought a new pair of workout pants. I acutally had to buy a large, because the XL was too big. So it seems I've dropped a size in that regard. Yay!

2003-02-09T11:12:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to post on here *boohoooo!* I am losing so much hair. This has been going on for about two months now. I lose HANDFULLS everyday. I can't believe I still have hair on my head. Well I'm off to eat some of my wonderful chili!

2003-02-08T14:58:00.000-06:00

I've decided to do last Monday's Progress Prompt today, for something to write about. "List your three favorite kitchen appliances/tools/gadgets. Why are they vital/critical to your weight loss program?"
Hmm, well I really like my mini George Foreman grill. It helps me get in vital protien in a healthy way by allowing me to grill steaks, pork, fish, chicken, whatever. Second favorite kitchen item is chopsticks. I love to cook and eat with chopsticks. Not really vital to my weight loss goals...but.. And thirdly is an item I don't own- a food scale. I would love a kitchen scale that measured grams and ounces. I'm never sure how many ounces of meat I'm eating.

2003-02-07T20:43:00.000-06:00

I plan on making this blog a bit more enjoyable. I am going to start doing the Progress Prompts on Mondays. Also now that I have fitday tracking my every move, I might post up some of their graphs from time to time on a seperate progress page I will make. I think I am also going to make a bio/about me page. Stay tuned for exciting new things! :-) Hmm, I may not do the fitday graphs- I finally looked at my public page at Fitday and it's very nice, I think I'll just post a big ole' link to that.
Right now I'm making a HUGE pot of chili. But I am tracking everything I put in it and am going to add up all the calories and nutrients so I can accuratly track it at FitDay. It's a lot of adding and dividing and calculating, but I figure it will be worth it. I love chili- I put lean ground beef, chopped tomatoes, onions, TONS of garlic, two kinds of squash, two kinds of beans and this time some carrots- so I hope those taste good in there. I love to cook and experiement, even if it's just for other's to eat. *note* As I am cooking and sampling the chili- I would say, don't add carrots. I only added one to a huge pot, and the carrot notes are very distinct, though they may mellow out as it cooks more.
Did I mention I was doing a dairy and wheat free week this week? Well I have been and haven't eaten either. It's been hard, some cheese and pasta and toast has been calling me. But I think I feel better...a little less sinus congestion, which I heard you can get from dairy. Also it's kept me from eating chocolate, which I have been craving. lol Next week I think I will stick with it, except for cheese. I won't do wheat or milk or any dairy but cheese. Cheese is high in protien and my doctor reccomends it. I think not eating wheat and dairy has also helped me to not consume so many calories.

2003-02-06T14:19:00.000-06:00

NEW! I just snapped a couple of polaroids, and dug up just some random shots of me and am making a mini photo page. Take a look at it HERE!!

2003-02-06T08:55:00.000-06:00

I'm getting ready to head to the gym, but just wanted to post a little random stuff. My BMI has gone from 44.6, Morbidly Obese to 32.3, Obese. And I wanted to post some good excercise/fitness websites I've been enjoying! (They may pop up a specific article, but the whole sites have more information.)

**High Energy Fitness** (Check out the Articles section!)
**Excercise Prescription** (Check out the Beginner's page!)
**Body Positive** (Check out their Mindful Meals article HERE!)

2003-02-05T20:19:00.000-06:00

I have been excercising- even though I haven't been posting it. Doing my yoga classes on Mondays and Wednesdays and Muscle Sculpt on Tuesdays. I also usually walk around a mile on the treadmill everyday, and occasionally do the eliptical and some of the nautilus machines. Today I finally broke down and bought a digital scale. As of right now I weigh 194 lbs scantily clad. So even though it doesn't seem real- I guess I'm below 200 pounds! And yes, this will be my "official" weight. I will weigh every morning naked- before going to the bathroom- for my offical weight during the day. I will probably post it in here every couple of days, or maybe whenever it changes more than a couple of pounds. Oh- I just did the math for those who are interested: I've lost 74 lbs in 153 days... That's an average loss of .48 lbs a day. Not bad! :-)

2003-02-03T15:17:00.000-06:00

Oh Oh! I remember what I was going to say... If anyone who uses fitday reads this- what's the deal on putting in activities. I did the treadmill this morning on random and it said I burned around 250 calories. Well my only choices on fitday was walking uphill with no load and walking on firm terrain at 2.5. Well I walked at 2.7 at inclines between 2.0 and 8.0 so I picked walking uphill, but I put the time for 35 minutes because that more accurately represented the calories that the treadmill said I burned. ANYWAY.... *hehe* Oh and another goal I've been trryyying to do is to stand up and sit up straight... at least parts of the day. It is a lot of work and my back gets tired!!

2003-02-03T15:14:00.000-06:00

Back to working out this morning. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill and my hour long yoga class. I finally decided to do a fitday journal, but it's nothing fancy so uh... Well the name on it is LisaLemonade, since I happen to be drinking some lemonade this afternoon. Speaking of which, I'm drinking Minute Maid Light Low Calorie Lemonade, and I'm telling you because I kind of like it. I have a hard time finding low calorie drinks which I like, and this is kind of one of them. lol I do not like Crystal Light lemonade (ESPECIALLY THE PREMADE- YUCK!) so it's nice to find a premade that's half way okay.. How's that for an enthusiastic review? *grins* I'm still wearing my little one pound arm weights, in case anyone was wondering. I set my goal weight on fitday for 128 lbs by December 10th. So that's about 77 lbs to go I think. What else is new... hmmm... Darn it.. I thought there was something else I wanted to post... Well I can't think of it, so that's it for now.

2003-01-31T16:14:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I bought a pair of size 16 plaid pants. They are kind of stretchy but... anyway I also tried on a pair of size 14 and they fit too!! (They were also stretchy.) However I bought the 16's because they didn't have the color I wanted in the 14s. Yay for shrinking, even if my weight is not dropping!

2003-01-31T13:29:00.000-06:00

Today I bought a 1lb weight for each of my wrists. I plan on wearing them pretty much all day every day. I went to the gym this morning and did 15 minutes on the treadmill and then worked my upper arms again. I've been wearing my new wrist weights all morning and I just took them off to air out and my arms feel so light. lol It's wierd. I read somewhere that having cold hands and feet is probably a lack of iron so I bought some carbonyl (the non constipating type) to take once a day. My feet are always icy.

2003-01-30T13:25:00.000-06:00

Eh, I forgot to write yesterday. I may not write everyday just to say what I did at the gym... That would be very boring. But since at the moment I have nothing else to write.... Yesterday I did 15 on the eliptical and an hour long yoga class. Today I did 20 on the treadmill, 15 on the eliptical and did 1 set of 30 on each of the upper body nautilus machines.
Oh and something I forgot to mention was when I was down visiting with my dad and grandma and we were discussing my weight loss, I asked them how much they thought I weighed- honestly and they guessed around 165. When I told them I was around 206 they flipped. I was telling that to my husband last night and he said he agreed that even he found it hard to believe I weigh over 200 lbs. I guess it's because I never really got a very fat face. Sure chubby, but I've seen people that weigh way less than me but look fatter. It makes me curious what I will look like if I ever get to my goal weight.

2003-01-28T13:45:00.000-06:00

I did 15 minutes on the elliptical and took an hour long muscle sculpt class. Fun fun. But that's not what I got on here to say... What I am really excited about is that we just got our orders (Where we will be stationed, we are in the Army) for FORT WAINWRIGHT.... ALASKA!! We are so happy! We requested Alaska, so we are just ecstatic!!! Sometime in April or early May we will be making the like two week drive to Fairbanks, Alaska... where it gets to 60 below zero and you don't see the sun in December... YAY!

2003-01-27T15:32:00.000-06:00

I thought I would post a little about my trip in regards to my surgery. I went with my dad to visit my grandma. Neither of them knows I had surgery. (Only my mom's side of the family knows.) When asked about my weight I simply said I was on a doctor supervised diet and I had been working out. As far as eating, I just ate smaller portions and no one ever questioned me on it. I find that I can eat a fairly big portion so it didn't look odd, as it would have if I was eating immediatley post surgery. Besides, my little old grandma ate about the same as me, so it really wasn't noticible how little I ate. Eating with company really showed me how fast I eat, but it seems no matter what I try, I can't break the habbit of inhaling my food.

2003-01-27T12:37:00.000-06:00

Well I got back home this weekend. Today was my first day back at the gym. I started with 20 minutes on the treadmill. I then went to an hour long low impact/step class followed by an hour long yoga class. I was very bummed about the step class- the combinations were just too complicated. I didn't enjoy it at all and don't plan on returning to that particular class. Tomorrow is muscle sculpt at 9:15. I plan on doing the treadmill again too. I weighed again in the locker room and came up at 202 or 204, I don't remember which.
I've been thinking about getting a pedometer. I think it would be a good motivation tool to walk those extra steps.

2003-01-09T13:15:00.000-06:00

I didn't go to the gym this morning because I was ill last night and slept in this morning. I did go for a bike ride though. I rode for about 10 minutes in very windy weather, so I got a little tiny bit of a workout. I'm leaving saturday morning for a week to visit family so don't think I just slacked off- I'm gone!! lol

2003-01-08T13:07:00.000-06:00

Today I walked a mile on the treadmill- took about 25 minutes and I did it at an incline. Then I took an hour yoga class. I enjoyed both. Tomorrow I think I'm either going to do a long treadmill session or go to a spinning class. Oh I weighed in the girls locker room and I was 206.

2003-01-07T18:18:00.000-06:00

Anyway the class was about an hour.. oh I guess I said that. It was a lot of just step areobics (which I did without the step, didn't want to push it.) and then we lifted a couple of small weights and then did some sit ups at the end. Tomorrow I have Yoga and Pilates at 10:15... And I'm considering going to a step class at 9:15, but I don't know about doing two in a row. Thanks to Kristi for the idea of getting workout clothes. I agree. I was going to buy an army set of p.t's but I just bought a army pt shirt instead. Today I wore a long sleeved army pt shirt (one of Justins) and some addidas wind/track pants thingees. Tomorrow I'm either going to wear the same thing, or maybe grey sweat pants and a short sleeved army pt shirt. The long sleeved one was kind of hot, but then again, it covered my arm chub really well. So I'll post tomorrow and let you know what I did.

2003-01-07T10:45:00.000-06:00

I did it! I took the muscle sculpting class from 9:15 to 10:15 this morning. I also walked 10 minutes on a treadmill before and cycled for 10 minutes afterwards. Yay for me.

2003-01-06T20:56:00.000-06:00

Well I know I haven't updated in a long while and my only excuse is because I'm just not changing much. Nothing is really new with me, I'm still about the same weight (Haven't had an official weigh in-- in forever). I've started eating some more carbs (mainly in the form of my fruit juice addiction) so that's a big no no. For New Years I wore a size 14 skirt an an XL top, so that was cool. I know I couldn't fit into size 14 JEANS yet though- my thighs would be too big, but somehow I squeeeeezed my but into that skirt. Tomorrow I'm going to take my first fitness type class since I've had my surgery (and probably my first one ever in the last like 4 years) It's called muscle sculpt and it's free here on the gym base. I'm acutally going to try to take a couple classes this week, so cross your fingers that I don't wuss out and fail. I'll write tomorrow and let you know how the class was. I am really nervous about sticking out- like I'm too unfit to be taking a class, but my husband said that people won't think bad of me because at least I'm trying to get fit, and that's admirable, not bad... so we'll see.

2002-12-14T23:59:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I bought size 16 jeans off the rack thinking that I will either fit into them or I will eventually. Well I barely squeezed into them...but I did!! I also bought a matching XL shirt (16/18) to wear with it. Yay for kind of going down a size!! Today I was at the mall and decided to weigh myself on one of those pay-scales. It says I way 213lbs and 7oz. I don't know if I should use that as my 'official' weight or not. I think I'll weight and weigh at the doctor's office before I change my official weight to the left. Really my weight hasn't moved all that much but I am going down in sizes. I bought a couple of areopostale hoodies in XL and they are a hair tight on me (I tend to notice that all their clothes are quite tiny.) I wish I could go all hardcore and excercise like 3 hours a day. Man, I bet I would really lose fast then. But I guess if I could do that, I wouldn't have had to have surgery to begin with. But sheesh...even if I could do it for like two weeks.... I mentally want to because I totally want to be under 200 by the first but it is really looking like I won't be at this point. I have two weeks to lose 13ish pounds.....

2002-12-10T16:03:00.000-06:00

I didn't excercise yesterday. I woke up and weighed and was up five pounds. I figured it was just water but I was still up yesterday evening and this morning. It made me feel super duper unmotivated. Sometimes I get so scared because I am not developing the good habits I feel like I should. And I can eat so much more now. Just a month or two ago, I could barely eat two fish sticks and now I can eat about six. I read that I should eat until satisfied, not full or stuffed- well that doesn't work for me, I never feel satisfied so I eat until I am way full. I have been getting better about not eating until sick though. At least that's something.

2002-12-08T22:46:00.000-06:00

I wasn't going to excercise...I just wanted to get on the computer and play SimFarm... BUT then I remembered that I was going to report my progress good or bad in here until Friday and that was just enough motivation to get moving. Today I did some light areobics to VH1 Classic. Exactly 15 minutes of activity. So there is today's report.

2002-12-08T00:26:00.000-06:00

Well Friday was a blast! I had so much fun dancing and we even got invited over to these two guy's house. (My husband and this other couple that went with us.) I wore size 18 jeans (They fit about right now, they were a hair tight) and one of Justin's t-shirts. It's a medium. I cut a v in the collar and slits in the sides. It fit tight on me but that was okay because I only have a smallish round stomach now (when I really suck it in.) I felt pretty good last night, appearance-wise. That's not saying much though because honestly I never see myself as really fat, even when I was really fat. Odd. Guess what...I FORGOT my support group meeting. I woke up at 1:30 this afternoon and it started at one. There was no way I'd been able to shower and get there without it being over. So I missed their holiday party which included a potluck AND the goshdarn pictures I wanted taken!!! GRR! Oh, well. I did go for a walk today! Yes folks, that's right, I actually excercised ON PURPOSE. I walked/jogged for 15 minutes around my neighborhood. It wasn't bad because it gave me a chance to get a good look at all the nice holiday lights that people have up. I decided that this next week I'm going to try to be ultra-hardcore and drop as much weight as possible. Of course ultra-hardcore to me means trying to do 15 minutes of excercise everyday...but still!! lol I need to make a note by the computer, I want to update everyday next week on weather or not I excercised. And by next weeeek, I mean December 8-13. I want to lose a lot before I go out again. lol Also I'm stating again my official December goal of under 200lbs by New Years... Though that's looking harder and harder as the days slip by.

2002-12-06T14:57:00.000-06:00

Today is Friday, and as we all know, that means dancing day. Every Friday for the past two months I've went 'honky-tonking' with my husband Justin. This Friday will be no different. (Well a little different from LAST Friday as I got entirely too drunk). Tomorrow is my support group meeting's Holiday party. They will have a woman there taking pictures, so I'm getting a picture of me and Justin done. Once I get back the pictures I will put one online so everyone can see me. In other news, I have a cold. Lots of coughing and lots of stuffiness and nose blowing, etc. I am surprised because I NEVER get sick. BAH!
And now for a little shameless self promotion, I direct you to this LINK. Go there and vote for my kitty Rayden and his little pal Greenly (Give them a 10!!). hehehe

2002-12-03T13:14:00.000-06:00

Well not much is going on here. I've been pretty much stuck at one weight all through November so that's sucked pretty bad. Hopefully I'll be on the downward slide through December and I'd like to be below 200 by New Years Day. Sometimes I get kinda down thinking that I won't lose anymore, but I know it just takes time and I don't need to be so obsessive.

2002-11-13T13:35:00.000-06:00

I'm keeping Mandy in my thoughts today and wishing her good luck and a safe operation. Today is her surgery day!

2002-11-11T16:00:00.000-06:00

Oh what to do..what to do? The digital scale at Warnock's office is totally out of commision. So...drum roll please...my official, non-official weight is 225. Bleh! Am I being to anal about this? I mean would the other scale have said 230 or 226 or 228? I think my new plan is to buy my OWN digital scale and have that be my official weight after I get one. Bleh! So other than that it was the usual Warnock appt. where he tells me the same ole stuff of vitamins, protien and excercise. YAWN. He said I didn't have a hernia (not that I thought I did) and come back in 6 months to get my labs done. Well um..I won't be in this state in 6 months so we made my next appointment for March. Sooo, I'll go update my lil weight thingy at the side since I guess 225 will have to be my official weight.

In other news, I am doing the Fashion Bug (clothing store) model thing. Basically I will model one outfit in there annual model show. I tried on clothes this morning. I am wearing an 18/20 in pants and the same in shirts. The outfit I picked is a blue and brown velvety shirt with rawhide lacing at the top and dirty jeans with lacing all the way up the sides. It's a pretty cute outfit. I'd love to buy it but the pants are $40 and I can't see spending that kind of money when I won't be in that size for much longer.

2002-11-05T12:58:00.000-06:00

Haven't started the walking yet- big surprise. I feel like I'm stalling so I'm doing clear liquids today and maybe tomorrow. Anyway, even though I don't have my 'official' weight lately, I did a BMI computation. I was BMI 44.5 which is extremely obese, now I'm BMI 38.0 which is obese. Yay for unextreme fatness!

2002-11-03T16:29:00.000-06:00

Went to the support group meeting yesterday. It was pretty good. No question and answer period though. Well there was a short short one. I usually like that part best because it's the most informative. I weighed at the support group meeting and according to that I'm 228, which means about 40 lbs lost in two months. However I only use the digital at Warnock's office so we don't have an official weight yet. lol I have my two month appt. on Nov 11, so I'll get my correct weight then. I had a lot of fun dancing this weekend, however I snacked on chex mix the entire time which is a big no no. My husband says he will start walking with me- one mile a day to help me get motivated. As it is now I don't excercise except for the occasional swim. As for clothing sizes, my bra size dropped to a 38C and I can wear my old raver pants which are mens that have a 38inch waist (they're still pretty tight though). If I had to guess on regular clothing sizes, I'd say an 18 in both a pant and top. I feel like I'll deffinitely be in 16s by the end of this month.

2002-10-25T15:21:00.000-05:00

Hello all. I just finished adding and averaging my calories and protien for the month so far. I eat an average of 610 calories a day and an average 30 grams of protien a day. If I could have those numbers read what I wanted them too, it would be 500 calories a day and 65 grams of protien. But ah well. Tonight I'm going dancing with my husband. We went last weekend and are going back for round two tonight. We actually plan to go once every weekend. It's a big country place with a huge dance floor. I'm teaching Justin how to two-step, swing and waltz. Yay for fun!

2002-10-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

My husband had a Doctors appointment today so I went along to get myself weighed again. But ACK! The digital scale I normally use was not working. Oh what to do?!? Well I used their regular scale and it said 237 which the nurse said would probably be around 239 on the digital. So I lost 5 pounds in the last week.

2002-10-16T14:44:00.000-05:00

I bought roller skates yesterday. I'm going to skate my way to fitness! LMAO I've already fallen once. Bleh! I bought those classic four wheeler kinds because -trust me- I can not skate with roller blades. So anyway, yeah I'm going to weed eat to day so that should be some excercise. Also I bought one of those designer whey protien drinks from GNC. Not bad but eh- too expensive to use regularly. Well at least I'll have ONE day since my surgery where I got the appropriate amount of protien. BLEH! :-)

2002-10-14T22:48:00.000-05:00

I stopped by Dr. Warnock's office and weighed- 244. BLEH! That's not enough! I should be at 237. I know it will come off, I do, but darn it! lol I went swimming again today. I'm starting to enjoy it more and more. I mainly just swim around. I need to actually swim or something to burn some calories but I like just diving to the bottom and playing with noodles. I threw up twice today. I eat something solid and am full, but like just right full, and then I am thirsty so I take a little sip of water and it's like WHOA. Yuck! I get hot and start salivating and then I just know to throw up. So finger goes down to back of throat and I get it out. I'm not turning bulemic or anything. I do this to alleviate the pain, not to save calories. So anyway more gross news. lol Mainly wanted to update my weight.

2002-10-07T22:48:00.000-05:00

Well went for my first swim today... Hmm...it wasn't the greatest. For one, the water was warm and gave me a feeling of swimming in dirty bathwater or something. Also it was too chlorinated. (Probably to help combat the nasty germs I'm sure are lurking..) Anyway, I was also alone which sucked. But I suppose I'll keep doing it simply because I hate to do any other form of physical activity. Although running sounds fun. I dunno... may be crazy but it does. I know I couldn't go more than 50 yards or so, but hmm. Well if I didn't have so much jiggle and wiggle maybe I could go a hair farther. Really though I'm cardiovascularly out of shape.

2002-10-06T23:54:00.000-05:00

Not much going on. I know 20 lbs a month is pretty average, I had just hoped I would be above average. lol I went to the support group meeting Saturday. It was okay. It's kind of hit and miss, but still I go, gleaning what little valuable information I can. A nice surprise while I was there, though, was seeing my roomate from the hospital. She had surgery an hour before me. She was looking wonderful. Well that is all my news other than my plan to go for my first swim tomorrow.

2002-10-04T13:02:00.000-05:00

Well at my almost official one month weigh in I am at 248 making a loss of 20 lbs in 30 days. How unimpressive. lol But at least that is the average.

2002-10-02T00:43:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day I have thrown up since the surgery. I've said it several times- I eat too fast and I don't stop when I get a little full. Well today I paid for it. I was eating some fish (Delicious by the way- I added sliced garlic and orange and lime juice too it.) and I ate way too much and way too fast. Immediatley I felt like I had a rock in my stomach. I have had this feeling before and I know I need to try to burp and move around. I usually lie down or walk around- basically just try to get the air out. Well that wasn't working. It stayed at the same pain intensity and then my mouth started to water. I felt like I needed to vomit but I didn't. I just kept spitting out all the extra saliva. Well eventually I did throw up about 1 tablespoon of chewed fish. It didn't even look gross- I had heard that you throw up exactly what you swallow and I did- no acid or bile or whatever stuff I normally throw up. And it wasn't at all liquidy- it was just like it was when it went down. After that I had a couple of dry heaves (painful but nothing more came up) and eventually, after another 45 minutes or so, felt better.
Now that I've described myself throwing up in detail (aren't you glad?) you can jet on over to Mandy's page and say a big CONGRATULATIONS to her for getting a surgery date!!!

2002-09-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

My husband had an appt. in the same building Dr. Warnock is in, so I stopped by and used his scale this last Wednesday. It said 253. I am using his digital scale as the one for my updates just to keep it the same. I will be eventually buying my own digital scale and I will switch to that when I get one. Right now on my own old scale I weigh between 140-145 daily. Wow, I really haven't updated in awhile- I did go visit Kristi in the hospital- she looked great and is now back home and doing well. This next week I'm going to start drinking protien shakes. I planned on making them with soy milk, but I'd love to find a non dairy alternative with less calories (and soy taste. lol) I am going to try some new grocery stores so maybe that will help. I find that I can eat around 8-9 oz of food at a time, way more than the 2-3 oz I am supposed to get full on. It's dishearting to discover this so early. Because of this I find that it takes me a bit to be full- even when I eat slow. I am trying to learn not to love and look for that full feeling, rather look for the absence of hunger. So instead of, "Am I full?" I need to ask "Am I still hungry?". And actually I don't ever feel really hungry per se, I just want to eat. I eat around every two hours. I would like to make a firm commitment to make sure there are at least 2 and 1/2 hours in between every meal I have. An increase in water intake may help. That and just having stuff to do, y'know? I must eat out of boredom a lot, because I find if I stay busy, it is usually 3-4 hours before I really want to eat again. Hopefully with my ability to start swimming next weekend I'll be more busy.

2002-09-18T22:53:00.000-05:00

Hmph. Nothing really new going on. Eating about an average of 800 calories a day. Looking forward to going swimming on October 7th (at or around). Hmm. Trying to walk more. Don't really like to walk so... I'm going to go visit Kristi tomorrow at the hospital. She had her surgery on Tuesday with Dr. Warnock. I met her online. My belly button really itches a lot. Heck my whole slice itches. And it looks like its coming open at the top, despite the steri strips. Why doesn't my dr. fricking care about wound care. I read about other drs who use glue and are all fancy and the people end up with this tiny hair line. I have this huge old gaping thing. *sigh* That sucks. As far as how I feel- still chippy.

2002-09-16T18:49:00.000-05:00

I got my staples out today. It was a total breeze. Didn't hurt at all except for a few near my belly button. She guessed there were about 60 staples in all! So now I have steristrips on them. Whoopee. Talked to Dr. Warnock for a whole 30 seconds. He said no steak, pork chops, roast, ham or bread. You can swim and eat fruits and vegetables (fresh) in three weeks. See me again in two months. So there ya go. According to his scale I was 267 the day before surgery. Today I weighed in on that same scale as 257, so lost 10 pounds in about 11 days. Well that's all the news for now...except that I'm making some homeade chili for dinner. :-)

2002-09-16T00:12:00.000-05:00

Okay I have been totally slack about updating. Today is like what- my 11th day post op? Well I get my staples out tomorrow, all 40ish of them. I swear the incsion didn't need to be this long. I mean my gosh, from right below my breasts to the bottom of my belly button. What's the deal with that? Anyway I still have a numb area on the top of my right thigh. The only pain I have had since leaving the hospital is a palm sized area in the middle of the right side of my stomach. I will ask Dr. Warnock about it tomorrow. I'm not *TOO* worried about getting the staples out. I'm going to try to count them if he takes them out one at a time, so I know how many I had. I am technically supposed to be on liquidy type foods but day before yesterday I switched myself to soft foods like cottage cheese and beans. I am averaging about 700 calories a day. I have been jumping on the scale all the time, but haven't really lost anything. I am really not concerned about my weight, so I'm not like sad or anything. I weighed 267 at Warnock's before surgery and tomorrow we'll see what his scale says, so stay tuned for a weight update and how it was to get my staples out. :-)

2002-09-10T15:18:00.000-05:00

I got home from the hospital yesterday. Oddly I really don't feel like writing about it. I am going to make this short and to the point and maybe expand upon it later. I went in, was sent to holding, had to shower, was sent to pre-op, got an iv and a jiffy pop hat, went into surgery, felt like I could not breathe as they put me out, was told by the recovery nurse to "be quiet!" Came up to my room, could not breath comfortably, was in terrible horrible awful pain, had spasms in my stomach muscle that brought me to tears each time they happened, have a nine inch incsion with tons of staples (including one IN my belly button) felt worse, felt worse, suddenly felt better, felt more better, felt more better and here I am now.

2002-09-04T16:59:00.000-05:00

I thought about having my husband, Justin, update this blog while I was in the hospital, but I think I will just keep paper notes and then put them in here in one big entry, when I get home. So today I had my appointment with Dr. Day. I was curious to see what kind of Dr. he was since I had heard nothing but negative descriptions about him, (including "personality of a rock"). I found him to be nice and proffesional. I liked him. *shrugs* So anyway, first I had to get my chest xrayed, then I had a brief check up with Dr. Day where he listened to my lungs and asked me medical history questions. I was also weighed there and came up at 264lbs. Then I went to Dr. Warnock's office and sat and sat and sat until he saw me. He made sure I still wanted the operation and then he felt my stomach. I was also weighed there and came up as 267! Talk about a three pound gain walking down the hall! lol I asked Dr. Warnock about getting chewable prenatal vitamins and though he had never even heard of them he wrote me a prescription. I tried to get it filled at the base pharmacy but they don't carry it, so I'll have to call around after I get out of the hospital. They also gave me a bottle of magnesium citrate. It's a laxative. I was instructed to drink half the bottle when I got home, which I did. The stuff was okay. It's VERY tart and lemony flavored, and slightly carbonated. I did not get a perscription for any sedatives from Dr. Warnock basically because I didn't feel like asking. I may take a sleeping pill or may not. Being on liquids all day has me feeling kind of tired anyway.
Well I suppose I should talk about how I'm "feeling". lol I'm not sure. Mainly excited and curious. I've never had an operation before and I'm really just curious about the whole thing. Sure I'm a bit nervous, but its definitely not the primary emotion I'm having. I suppose that's about it. I guess I won't be updating until around September 9th...so STAY TUNED!

2002-09-03T15:42:00.000-05:00

Today I had my pre-admissions appointment. First I had a short meeting with a lady that had me sign several permission forms and photocopied my ID. Then I was taken to another area where my pulse, height and weight were all taken. (By the way, I'm 262 now.) I was then asked routine medical questions while my blood was being drawn (for a standard AIDS test, I pressume.) Then the nurse explained the general timeline of the surgery day. I also had to sign paperwork stating I was getting the gastric bypass surgery done, and having my gallbladder removed. The nurse was very nice. Tomorrow I have appointments with my pulmonoligist Dr. Day and with my surgeon, Dr. Warnock.

2002-09-02T22:38:00.000-05:00

Well tomorrow is the day it all starts. My pre-admissions appointment. Pretty exciting, but I'm really not thinking about it. I got a new baby rat today, so all my thoughts are centered on him. (His name is Moby.) Well since this isn't a blog about life in general or about Moby, I'll just post this...having really said nothing at all.

2002-09-01T17:38:00.000-05:00

Not too much longer now! Surgery is this Thursday! Melissa was curious about post-op issues. Here is what I know so far- I will be in the hospital for anywhere from 3-5 days, longer I suppose if I were to have some sort of complication. My surgery should take about 2 hours. I will be up and walking around the day of surgery. I will be on a clear liquid diet, then just liquid, then soft foods then regular. This whole transition will take a bit over a month I believe. I will be getting an informative packet from Dr. Warnock when I go and see him on the third, so I will post some more information when I get it. Not much is going on here, I've started keeping a food journal. I've totally cut back on my calories so my body doesn't go into shock on the day of surgery. It's been a lot easier cutting back then I thought. I'm already dealing with some major head hunger issues though. After surgery I want to start seeing a psychologist and get some one on one counseling for my food issues- whatever they may be. Hopefully that will be pretty helpful. I'm pretty sure I'm 'addicted' to food. Why? Because I crave it. I sit and think about pizza and hamburgers and want some. Basically a junkie looking for a fix! And I'm always thinking about where I can get my next meal (fix/high). Surely those are signs of addiction? Ya, I'm thinking so. Maybe I should look on the internet for addicion counciling. Hmm. Okay well that's it for now. Just looking forward to having surgery! :-D

2002-08-27T14:39:00.000-05:00

Okay yesterday I forgot to mention waist size. I have a shirt that I bought- kind of a goal shirt? It's a cotton baby doll style shirt that says Speedy Turtle on the front. It's an XL size for Juniors. I measured the bottom of it and it is 17 inches across, so that would mean I would have to have a 34 inch waist in order to have it fit properly. I thought, 34 inches sounds good, eh? Then I realized that my husband wears 32 inch waist jeans. Ack! I can't have my goal waist be larger than my husband's! So I guess my goal waist will be 31 inches! lol Also yesterday I tried to figure out calories. I'm still a bit confused. I think I should be using my basal for this weight and not 135 lbs. If anyone would like to figure how many calories I need to live (not maintain my weight) and how many I need to burn and all that jazz- feel free! lol I'm confused.
In other news I just called my Warnock's receptionist to confirm my appointments. Here is my official schedule:
On September 3rd
Begin Clear Liquids Only
Pre-Admissions Appt. at 11th Street at 1pm

On September 4th
Dr. Day at 1pm then go to Dr. Warnocks right after.
Drink Magnesium Citrate that afternoon.
Nothing to eat or drink by mouth after midnight

On September 5th
Be at hospital by 6 am
Scheduled to be second surgery, so will be having it at approx 10am

2002-08-26T14:07:00.000-05:00

Let's talk for a moment about my goal size/weight. I would like to weigh 135 lbs. This is a pretty arbitrary number that I thought sounded like something a thin person of my height would weigh. More importantly to me is what size of clothes I will wear. My goal there is a size 10, or even a size 12. I would like to accomplish this in the time span of 8 months- though I don't know how feasiable that is. My husband graduates from school then, and I would like to be at that size. In order to do this I will need to lose 3.90 pounds per week or 0.56 pounds per day. This also equivilates to 2477 calories per day. So I will need to burn that many calories to lose .56 lbs. I finally found a way to determine my basal energy expenditure (the amount of calories your body needs just to exist).
To determine your Basal Energy Expenditure: for women: BEE = 655.1 + (9.56 x weight in kg) + (1.85 x height in cm) - (4.68 x age in years)

So using my goal weight of 135 lbs, my basal would be approx. 1245 calories a day. Now it may be too late or my brain may just be mushy, but if I need 1245 calories a day and I want to spend 2477 calories a day... Does that mean I need to burn only 1232 a day? Or I need to burn the whole 2477 to lose the 1/2 a pound don't I? So I need to consume 1245 calories a day AND burn 2477? I'm a bit confused. lol

2002-08-25T01:07:00.000-05:00

I made a silly countdown page to my surgery. If you would like to check it out, go to http://www.geocities.com/arsenickitten

2002-08-24T21:01:00.000-05:00

What a surprise! Today I got a wonderful package from my best internet friend Melissa! In it she included pure vitamin E oil, a homeopathic surgical repair solution and some All Heal Salve that her College prepares. She also gave me some advice on how to use the products and other tips. Some of the things she reccomends are eating foods high in zinc (wheat germ, leafy green veggies, seeds and nuts, etc.) She says that zinc helps skin elasticity and healing. She also said that too much protein causes the body to flush its zinc. She reccomended to start treating the area of my incsion now with vitamin e oil and aloe vera gel to get "the surgery skin to be as soft and healthy as is possible before your surgery". o(^_^)o What a great surprise to get!
Other than getting the cool surgery stuff- I really have no other news. I have about 11 days left until surgery. I'm starting to get excited!